Friday, March 11, 2016

What is wrong with me?

WOW. Joe is still dating fucking Amanda. I can't believe he is still lying to me to me about it. I mean why? I had to hack into his new "hidden" email address that he opened prior to us getting a divorce. What a shit bag. Yes I know I shouldn't have texted him bad things at 4:30am but here he is talking with a pastor, going to church (things he wouldn't do with me) and reading the bible every night and yet he is still fucking around with a woman who is married with a child. I just don't get it. Apparently he texts her every morning and she says she loves him. At least she did in an email.

On a side note Chris called and wants me back...I guess he started chewing again, smoked 3 cigarettes, hasn't shaved, hasn't cut his hair, he didn't go to the gym yesterday, and has been crying because he misses me so much. He said he was basing his value off of what his ex's thought of him which he realized he shouldn't do because I was right there loving him for who he was. And here I am being pissy at Joe. Why did I want to steal his Hotel.com points?!? I was doing so well! Now I feel like I might not be ready to date. Granted Chris needs to find value in himself without a woman. I need him to be confident in him self. And if he is THIS upset about losing me and he broke up with me....what if I break up with him? And can I actually deal with him having three kids? Can I deal with all the money he has to pay a year to them?


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