So I have stopped counting the times I hang out with Chris because even though I am kinda putting off the words that make it official... Chris and I are dating. We have had sex and (without my knowledge) he came inside me... and we say I love you and I see him basically everyday. He has talked about wanting to marry me and wanting to come home to me every day... and I'm just hesitant. I'm not sure why. When we are in bed together I get really wet but my heart doesn't race the way it does with Ben. And even though we haven't done much sexually it's still better with Ben and I am not sure why. It's about equal to when I was with Joe granted it doesn't hurt as much in certain positions with Chris... I'm just not sure. Is it because he is so in love with me and I am slow to the party? Why am I so much slower then him? Do I really love him or am I just saying it because he is?
I mean he makes me laugh, makes me feel good about my self, I enjoy talking with him and cuddling with him...I think he is cute and I think he would be a great dad. I mean everything is easy with this guy. And yet I am hesitant...is it just because he is so into me and I'm not having to work for it like I usually do? Or is it because it just hasn't been very long time wise? Or is there a reason I am not 100% into this guy yet? I mean if he was telling me he loved me and wanted to come home to me everyday in like a month or two I wouldn't really think about it much but he is doing it a week and a half into knowing each other. That's CRAZY!
Or is it because I am not even done with my divorce with Joe? I mean technically we are still married just separated... I don't know.
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