Last night Chris found out about Ben. The other night he said girls with guy friends are one of his biggest insecurities and so Chris got mad that I didn't tell him about Ben that night and instead by asking other questions he found out about Ben last night and that upset him because I was keeping something from him. He then said maybe he should try to slow down because he was hurt that I was already keeping things from him. I actually got pissed because I said I was sorry but he kept bringing it up...enough that I put my pants on and was ready to leave his place. It actually scared me when he said he needed to slow down. I felt like I was losing him. Which is a good thing I felt scared because it means I do like him. So this morning I tried to separate myself from Ben a little bit until I can figure out what I am doing. Because I am not exclusive with Chris...I mean he thinks we are but we never had the talk even though he has told me he wants to marry me and grow old with me. But I am not going to lie when he talks about getting a house with a white picket fence and a golden retriever it does make my heart smile. And I'm not sure if that's because it's him or if that's just the life I want. I guess it's him because if it was ginger that would have freaked me out...in fact it did.
And I found out that he cosigned on a vehicle with a girlfriend and now she is not paying her bills so he is going to probably have to pay it. And he says there is like $17,000.00 left on it and it's a dodge so it's not even worth that much anymore. He like freaked out about money when I brought that up and I was like I don't care about money I'm just trying to get info and maybe help.
Chris-
Otters hold hands while they sleep so they don't drift apart.
No matter what happened in the past,
what happens in the future,
let this card be a reminder that I will never let go of your hand.
love Jilian
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