I went and looked at some cars yesterday... when I asked to test drive them I looked in my purse for my drivers license and then realized I left it in my gym belt at home. Most people would respond to this by saying..."aw crap" and being a little upset about it. Not me. Nope. I burst into full blown tears in the middle of the parking lot. Yup tears streaming down my face. I'm officially a crazy person.
And now I am being told I can't go look at cars today because I swore around my dad...WTF?! I swear starting today I will never let me be in this place ever again. I will never depend on some one for so much in my life that if they were to leave I would hit this low. (so I guess being a stay at home mom will never happen) because I need to always be able to afford my life. To have power to control what happens to me and never need to rely on anyone else for anything. I am done being helpless and I am done being controlled. If people don't text me back...fuck them they aren't worth my time. I am done putting time and energy into people who could give two shits about me. I have given up too much of me to too many people who never gave anything back. Next week I will cleanse... mom and Steve will be out of the office. I have her car so I don't need to deal with Meridith or dad. I will spend my days applying to more jobs and my evenings working out at they gym.
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