Clothes

Now that I am single again I need new clothes...but there is nothing to buy!! I was talking with Ben and he said that appropriate cleavage is good and since my legs are a great asset I should show them off.  He also said that he LOVES heels. Well shit. I can't really wear heels because they hurt my feet and are bad for your knees...and I hate showing cleavage because it makes me uncomfortable and HELLO I live in Washington where is is way too cold to be showing off legs or anything! And that isn't taking into account they don't sell any of that crap here! It's all plaid and Ponchos. Oh and he said he likes dresses too... fuck me. And I say that because I know what Ben likes is what most guys like...so I need to continue to lose weight so I can look good in that stuff and I guess once a week take a trip to the mall to look at clothes? I don't know! I am down to 156lbs so that is freaking awesome only 16 more pounds to go! Ugh... It was easy with Joe well because he didn't care and because he was into the whole mountain man thing with is easy here because thats what it is but most guys want to sexy cali look and well I've never had that look first of all and second of all you can't find that in the evergreen state. Soon maybe when I lose a little more weight I make a trip down to Cali and buy clothes lol I just don't get it...I mean I do see girls in some pretty cute outfits but I have NO idea where they are finding them...obviously not at the same mall I'm at. And now I am freaking out because I leave to see Ben for 5 days yes that is 5+ outfits I need to come up with. And it's in the low 70's there which makes it even harder because it's in the 40's here. I don't have any warm weather clothes!! And they sure as hell aren't selling any here right now. Plus what do people wear out on dates or at the bars anymore??? I am so out of the loop on everything!! Oh and did I mention Ben is also a shoe guy...what the fuck? He is more into women's fashion then I am!!

I literally hate pretty much everything I own. I want to throw it all away and start over...I just with there was something I could start over with!! Ok so for outfits I have 1. a green button up with jeans (not sure about shoes) 2. green stripped dress with a jean shirt over it with flip flops 3. black zip up coat and jeans with sneakers (for the plane) 4. blue t-shirt with either jeans or a jean skirt 5. My poker dot work dress with white heels (because that is the nicest dress I have...not what I want to wear to a nice dinner though)

And of course with Christmas just around the corner now is the WORST time to go to the freaking mall. I walked around south center yesterday for like 2 hours and all I bought was some new perfume because Fuck the perfume Joe liked.

I think I liked only seeing Ben for a couple hours at a time better because I only needed one good outfit... 5 outfits is suicide.