Dying

So I litterly thought today was going to be the day...the day I died. I have never been in so much pain before...yes my periods when I was younger were pretty killer but I could take some booze and fall asleep and when I woke it would be over. Not this. This Blatter infection was the worst because I couldn't take anything or do anything to stop the pain...it just kept getting worse and worse to the point that when I got to the doctor's office I asked if instead of waiting in the waiting room if I could wait in the bathroom. I was in the bathroom yelling "Fuck" and "shit" and "oh god" every time a small drop of pee came out. And then when I went to the QFC pharmacy guess who helped me with my pills... a girl named Ginger (who I have never met but heard my last name) and asked are you Joe's wife? I said yeah thinking she was looking at my insurance card or something and then she continued to say she went to high school with him and was a year older...Greeeeeeat! Just one more reason why I need to move some place that isn't here. I can't keep having this Joe or this old life shit around me...it isn't healthy. And when it comes down to it I can and I believe I can take care of my self. I had to deal with the car accident by myself, I flew to South Carolina and back by myself and I am dealing with my extremely painful pee by myself.

Wow I just re-read that last sentence and have decided that my life should be made into a book or a movie or something. I mean you really can't make this shit up... Let's take a look...

Beginning of October- Aunt is in hospital dying of cancer...come home from hospital to find out that husband is cheating on you...move home to your dad's house but decide to try counseling so move back in to home. Hate the marriage counselors so start to meet with pastor. Your Aunt dies of Cancer. Go on trip to Portland and find out your husband has been cheating on you for a while and he wants a divorce. That week you kick him out of the house throw all his shit in a pile and at Thanksgiving you have to tell everyone. Then go to your aunts funeral and tell the rest of the people about the divorce. Then have car insurance company say fuck you. File for divorce with the courts. Then get into a car accident with a possible murder who doesn't have insurance or a valid drivers license so now you have to pay for the car repairs. Buy shit on your now separated husband's amazon account. Fly to Charleston to stay with a guy who you have been in love with since your freshman year of high school. Have a weird week because the expectations where weird and you found out information on the guy you didn't know which kinda breaks your heart and you don't do any of the fun stuff he had promised you because the trip ends abruptly and early because two of his friends got into an accident and will probably die. So he puts you up in a hotel room by your self while he drives 5 hours to be with his dying friends. Fly home from Charleston and realize when you get home you have a blatter infection. Schedule a doctors appointment for the next day only to realize it's too late and you are pretty sure your going to die on the toilet. And I just found out that to change my flight instead of and extra $16 like I thought...it turns out it was an extra $216. Now the middle of December.

Yes that has been my life in the last 3 months. Fuck me.